It's Just a Part of Life

   There are always things that are beyond a person's control, they might drive them crazy, or even get mad at them. In an ideal world those aspects could be changed, those people could be changed, but in reality they can't so the best and hardest approach to these issues is acceptance.

   I am having those issues at the moment. Control freak... I know! Haha. I have learnt to not fret over the little things, the things that cannot be changed or controlled. There is no point in worrying and stressing over these things. It only hurts that particular person... no one else. But it is part of human nature to be greedy... to want more and be in absolute control. its just not how it works, unfortunately. lately, the inconsistency and un predictable nature of my father's work is driving me up the wall. I want something that I have never had... a consistent and predictable job for him, where I can see him all the time and not have to worry about changing plans due to his work. I know its selfish, I know that the person benefitting from that would be me, and not him, but I can't help what I want.  It is not a bad thing, wanting my dad to be a consistent person in my life... is it?

   He loves what he does, and I love when he's happy, like I'm sure most people are like with their parents.  I just can't help sometimes thinking about how different my life would be if his work was different. Would I be happy? Would this change our relationship in a bad way or a good way?

   With all that aside, this is good year for me. I know some parts of my life purpose and decided that I am going to go for it. I am going to be a lawyer, another 8 years of school and I won't be done until I'm 27 because I do not finish my high school courses until January of next year, but I am still motivated.

   On top of that, I decided that I am going to be an egg donor, though the sites I looked at said that I had to be at least 21. I do not want to do it for the money, there are just a lot of individuals that want a baby but cannot reproduce, for whatever reason. Because I witnessed first hand what it is like to wait for an organ that is needed to heal someone, I decided that if I die young and healthy I will give up my organs for those in need. Something good will come out of my existence, I know it, if I can help just one person than my life in this time period will have meaning to it. And I can die with the memory of being a part of the bettering oneself movement.

   "I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything; but I can do something; I will not refuse to do something I can do." -Helen Keller