The Lame and the Restless

For the last week I have been living on my couch, last Sunday I woke I so much pain that I could not even move, I couldn’t lay on my back, stand up, walk and sit up straight. I felt so helpless because I couldn’t do anything and to top it off I had to miss the first days of school. On the Tuesday after this started, September 4, I went to my doctor’s office and I am going to honest going from my house to the doctor’s office was one of the hardest things that I have ever done. My mom even went and got me a wheelchair but since I couldn’t sit down I used it as a walker. At the same time, using that wheelchair when I could sit down was a really cool experience for me and not the lazy ones where all ya do is use a little stick thing to control it, the one where ya actually have to work to get places. After wasting a good hour of blood tests and going to see the doctor who didn’t know what was going on with me and not being able to sit down I got some strong pain killers that I didn’t want to take but I did and it was definitely a great friend to me.

 Through this week my couch has become my best friend in the world. Like when I get up my motivation is that couch will be there for me to rest afterwards, my victory sit as I call it.

I have gone to the chiropractor three times this week and hey think that there is a problem with a disk in my back that is hitting a nerve causing pain in my leg.

But I am a lot better, it sucks that I have to go through this and it’s hard to stay positive. I should be starting my last year of high school and hanging out with my friends but there is nothing I can do but breathe and fight through this. One thing that I learned through this experience is not to take things for granted for example: having the ability to get your own food or walk to the bathroom, sleeping in my bed.

 It sucks but I will make it through this even stronger than before.

 "Physical Strength is measured by what we can carry; spiritual by what we can bear."-Unknown

Bonds

Today I am going to write about spiritual connections with other human beings. The only reason is because, like the last two posts, I have been thinking about this topic. Recently I have noticed that or feel as if one of my friends and I have a spiritual bond. Not like any other friend that I have had, this one felt different. I met him officially in the beginning of this year, my grade 11 year of high school, I can’t really explain it. I first saw him the first day of school and I was drawn to him. It’s kind of weird, for lack of a better explanation.  I now I think that is why I wanted to get to know him in grade 10.

            This feeling of being connected in a way confused me. Now if he was a girl it wouldn’t because I’m straight, but for a while I took this feeling as a crush.  In a way he is like my comfort zone, I feel safe with him. And I don’t think I mean in a lovey dovey way. Maybe he is my soul mate…maybe he is just meant to be my friend. I don’t know. All I know is that he is going to be in my life for a very long time.

            And it has come to my attention that is why I can’t stand his girlfriend, I really don’t know why he is interested in her. But as Barb said she is in his life for a reason, he needed to learn something. I don’t know, but I know that things happen for a reason.

            I decided that I was going to investigate this topic because it has been on my mind for a while. It’s weird to think that one of my best friends in high school may be the person that I am meant to be with, but he might not. Time will only tell.

            My friend Kendra also said that it was like his girlfriend had a competition going with me and I think it’s because I am his closest friend girl. Haha. I thought that she just didn’t like me and that’s why she said mean things in nice ways. It just turns out that, in my opinion, she is threatened by our relationship. Oh well.

I found this site and it said something that made sense to me about spiritual connections; “This means that both people are compatible, and that their inner spirits are harmonious with each other. Because of this, a kinship is started first, followed by deep inner emotional feelings for each other, all because the spirits are harmonious.” (http://www.awakening-intuition.com/SpiritualBonding.html)

“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.”- Elbert Hubbard

Oops

Sorry, but i know that i have been inconsistant with the days that i have blogged on, and for some reason i thought i was, i dont know why. haha. For now on i will be posting my new posts on wednesdays since that is the day that i have posted the majority of them on.

Really People?

           This week I am going to touch base on a topic that I’m sure people are getting sick of hearing about…Racism. Well I think that some people, not all, are just not getting it. My friend that I mentioned in my previous post, Kendra (http://kendracandraw.blogspot.ca/), a nice Filipino girl that goes to my school, is having problems with her parents as I mentioned. The reason you may ask is the fact that her boyfriend is black, half black but still.

            Now I talked to my family friend, Barb, about this and she said that our spirits choose our parents to learn certain lessons. Maybe her lesson is to stand up for herself, I don’t know.

            But the point is that racism is a huge issue in this multicultural world, and it’s very freakin stupid. It’s the 21 century people, I think that we should pull up our big boy/girl panties and take off the diapers. Stop acting like children and get over it. It’s supposed to be the person’s character that determines the people that like them and that not so much like them, not the color of their skin or the language that they speak that determines that for us.  But unfortunately people just can’t get passed the appearance thing.

            Just think that if you were in a room blindfolded with a whole bunch of people, who would you go to? Take away the first thing that someone judges someone by and actually get to know the person for who they are and not what they look like.

            Please take the time to think about the friends that you choose to surround yourself with. Think of what drawn you to them in the first. I’m sure that their appearance played a role. Believe I know, I’ve seen it, I’ve done and I’m sure that you have too.

            Something that bothers me about this society that we live in is that when talking about different ethnicities and cultures people, and I have done this too, use the turn race. Why? The only real race that I can think is the human race, there are just different cultures within it. Just like other animals. Such as a cheetah and a house cat, technically they are both under the cat family.

"The problem of the twentieth century is the problem of the color-line -- the relation of the darker to the lighter races of men in Asia and Africa, in America and the islands of the sea. It was a phase of this problem that caused the Civil War" -Bois, W. E. B. Du

ProChoice

Today, Monday June 4, during Bio, my friend, Kendra and I were talking about her home situation; you see she is having some trouble with her parents. So we started to talk about judgement and how people can be so judgemental even though many people have these religions that are so heavily based on empathy and sympathy. I just find that, and I’m not saying that it this goes for everyone please don’t be offended it’s just a statement, the most judgement people that I know are the ones that are big Christians. Many of my relatives are Christians and they are very judgemental.

                Anyway back to the story, Kendra and I were talking about being gay and how in the eyes of the Christian church it is a sin. So I told her this story about my grandma and I fighting about this gay guy that I knew. She said, and I quote, “The only time that you should talk to them is if you are trying to fix them.” This statement angered me, I told her, “They don’t need fixing, they’re not broken.” This argument ended quickly, I was being ambushed by these two strong believers in the word of the bible, I walked away there was no point to arguing something that they are too stubborn to even listen to.  It was two years ago or so. My dad high fived me for sticking up for myself. I wasn’t really all that mad at them, I actually respect the fact that they were standing up for their beliefs, but at the same time, they took it too far.

                I find it funny that I haven’t really brought it up in two years and suddenly I found myself talking about it twice in two days.

                Last year, since I go to a catholic school and all, our school priest came and I asked him about the whole being gay is a sin thing, and he told me that, through much deliberation many priests and fathers think that technically being gay is not a sin. Now hear me out, he said that a sin is a conscience decision that people make. Being gay is something that people are born with, a lifestyle, a feeling. My friend did not understand it so this is the way that I explained it.

                Being gay is like something that you’re born with, just like I don’t like meat. Ever since I was little I never liked meat. My taste buds just don’t agree with it. It’s an attraction.

                I’m prochoice. I will stand up for those who don’t have a voice, this is something I believe in, power of choice… and I like to protest for the things that I believe.

                So this time instead of a dream, I am going to end with a quote.

“I [may] not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death for your right to say it” –Voltaire

                If you have something to add to this topic please add a comment.

My Soccer Season Sucked!

During my last game of my very freakin short season, my coach played me the last 2 minutes of the game! What the hell, this is the second game that i sat. and im nnot used to sitting. Last year i played the whole game, for the same team different coach though. I didnt come to the game to be benched! I'm not used to it, and frankly being benched sucks. its not fun watching your team mates while im on the side lines. My family made me see though that even though my coach should have communicated about it, everything happens for a reason. My knee has not gotten better, i think that it has actually gotten worse. I know when its time to get up in the morning becasue i am in so much pain that it doesnt matter what posistion i lay in it hurts until i strecth it out. I am still frustrated though about the whole benching thing, i have played for 7 years and i have never been benched as much i have been these last two games. it makes me feel underappreciated. And now my team mates want me to pitch in for her gift, thats not gonna happen. What they want me to thank her her benching her, hell no. my coach spent her time yelling, talking down to us and talking on her phone. She never reached out to anyone other than two people. She did nothing for me, im not thankful to her at all.

This is all my frustration coming out.

I Went to Florida last week, and that is why is has taken me so long to post this blog. The first day was on the 11^th of May, which was a Friday. The day started with my sister, mom and I seeing the hockey team from Portland that played the Oil kings, that was very exciting for me. I think that they are all beautiful. Then later, going through security, I was randomly picked to have a more thorough check, which by the way was not that bad. The security lady just patted me down and I was on my way.  While waiting to board the plane to Chicago we saw the Oil Kings. YAY! My sister was soo excited, we didn’t get a real good look at them though cuz they were boarding a plane as well, a different one unfortunately.  My sister HATES planes, she gets very nervous while on one, and at the beginning of the plane ride I told her that she could hold my hand if she wanted to, but she declined saying that she didn’t need my hand. That however quickly changed, as soon as we started to take off I held out my hand, she took it quite fast, and every time for a while she squeezed my hand when we experienced turbulence. After the electronic turn on signal was on she was fine though. 

My first day at Florida was a shopping day and we went to Medieval Times. We went to I Hop was kind of cool cuz they don’t have that In Canada. After some pretty freakin good pancakes, we went to a couple outlet stores to shop of course.  I don’t like shopping, but because it was not in Edmonton I was fine for the first bit, but after the second shoe store, I admit, I got a little cranky. Hey, shoe stores bother me, I don’t know why but that’s the way I feel. It was a long day, but it was ended with an Amazing show and dinner. It was the first time that I have ever went to Medieval Times, It was a blast! The show was so awesome, the performance was a tournament. My knight was the Red/Yellow one, and for the most part he was a pretty good competitor, until the joisting part, he was out on the first round.  The next couple of days, we went between universal and Disney world. The Highlights of my week was, harry potter land, superhero land and the medieval times dinner and show. We saw mickey mouse and the rest of them, the Simpsons, Spiderman, green goblin, dr. doom, wolverine, rogue, Cyclops, storm and captain America. Some of my favorite rides were the hulk roller coaster, harry potter ride and rollercoaster, The mummy ride, and the Simpsons. During one of the days, we stumbled upon this sign at universal saying that there is a live paper view TNA impact. My sister was really excited so we went to check it out and he had eight FREE tickets left. Naturally that was the highlight of her week.  Oh, and my mom is a loon. She was making nice with a bag of rocks… oops I meant crystals. HEHE! She rubbed them across her forehead. Haha!

DREAM #3

 Thursday (the tenth) I had a dream where I lived in this colony and everyone was meeting in the hall for some kind of gathering, my sister and my grandma was present during this dream. At some point in the dream my grandma and I went outside to look at the sky, when I found three moons were in the sky, I thought that one or two of them were planets, even though they all looked like moons. The one moon had these like missal things (there is no other way to explain it) that were orbiting this moon and making it tilt and stuff. All of a sudden the earth started to tilt at such a degree that we could feel it, everyone started to panic, scream, yell, and run. My sister, grandma and I went and grabbed my car keys and headed out, everyone in the colony had convertibles so we didn’t know which one was ours, after a while of looking around we found this black one, surely that one was mine. Haha. After we get to another hall, the sea starts to over flood, and eventually it gets to the hall that we were at, we however thought that  it wouldn’t reach us, but it did. It started to flood the hall. The End!

If people do not known, i play soccer and i have had years of knee problems.First i sprained my right knee, and when that healed i got into a culision with another girl and i got the wrong/worse end of the knee bump.  As of recently, it hascome tomy attention that i have an inflamed IT Band, which is a tendon that runs from my hip to the end of my knee. It is not a very serious injury, but it needs rest and ice, that is awesome news for me because i am going toFlorida on Friday, it is the second time that i have gone out of the country, and i LOVE flying. I cannot wait, which is good that i got my leg checked out before i went so that way i dont have to worry about it on my trip. I went to the Chiropracter today and that is how i know.

I am on the school team, and we have tied the second game that we have played, well technically this is the thirdd game but it is only the second one that counts. My couch was happy about the way that we played, cuz wepretty much dominated the whole game, but we had two slip ups and tied the game. In my opinion that is perfectly fine, but my coach thinks that we should be happy that we didnt lose, but not about the factthat we tied. I think that is bull shit. there is nothing to be sad about, and the people on my team that were sad need to grow up a bit. we had nothing to be ashamed about. We played a great game. Yeah there are things that we still need to work on, but i am happy.

DREAM #2

I was attending this school that looked kind of like Hogworts from Harry Potter, and i was part of the popular group, which by the way was a bunch of faries. This school was a school of freaks. and i was the runt of the group because all the other faries in the group had these nice eagle like wings that were huge and beautiful, and i had these little wings that barely came out of my back, the other faries made fum of me about them. There was this one day when these two guys that were not freaks at all came to attend the school, and cuz they werent freaks they got picked on as well. So the three of us joined forces one day when there was this rumor around the school about these old ass dragons that were going to pay the school a visit. the three of us were standing outside on the courtyard when this huge broom stick came out of this room with a balnket over something. so i put on my glider that attached to my small set of wings and i flu the with the other two guys holdingon to my arms. During the Flight, the blanket came off of them and there were 4 huge dragons; a blue, green, yellow and red one. The Green one and i had a counciling sesson. THE END!

Last Monday my friends and I went skating, and I really love skating, at west Ed and then we went bowling, I had a blast, but of course when something seems too good to be true, it usually is. One of my friends didn’t have fun at all and she complained and kind of ruined my fun. And now all I can think about is her, and not about the blast that I had. What a bummer. The Wednesday and Thursday were not much better, I tried out for my school soccer team, and the tryouts have been going on for a couple of months, it started in march right before spring break and there has been cancels and I was to be quite honest a little tired of it. So on the on the Wednesday I found out that I made the team, right after I decided that it was not worth dealing with anymore. And on the Thursday I had my first practice. It was quite intense, the good thing about it though is that I get a back pack and a sweater. It just sucks cuz its four times a week, so my growing social life is going to slow down and I will have less time to concentrate my school work, this year I have slacked and I need to pick up the pace. On the plus side of the week I have a weekly diner with my dad’s side of the family, my grandma, grandpa, aunty, uncles and my sister. It is the highlight of my week and I look forward toward it every week.

I got out of classes early on Friday to go to Calgary, finally I get to go back to the geek fest (the comic convention), and something that I haven’t mentioned on my previous post is that I LOVE batman! And superheroes in general.  I remember last year when I went,  I have never felt like as big of a geek as I did as when I was walking up to the geek fest with my uncle and being greeted at the door by a star trooper, I had a blast though.  And we almost got into an accident, oops. It was a close call, but everyone is ok. The first day, I went was on Friday and we looked around at the people that were selling things, it was quite fun. On Saturday, my uncle and I were in line for Billy West and John Damchio and then Stan Lee, it was a little boring and there were so many people that the fire marshals said that since they were are full capacity they would have to stop letting people in.  Overall, it was still fun. But the best time was on Sunday because we got to look around more and buy things, I took a lot of pictures of the prints that the artists. Throughout the weekend I had a lot of fun, I got see Batman and the other various superheroes and villains, such as my favorite of all time Harley Quinn and I got to spend time with an old family friend and her new baby/ husband.

Dream #1

                Me and my father were wizards, and we were wearing these crimson red robes, making our way to the wizard court. My father was standing in the middle of a place that looked like relax, on a hovercraft that looked like the one that Stitch was on in the first Lilo and Stitch, and the dream did not specify on what my father did but he must of did something very bad because the wizard council sent him to another dimension. So I am on my way back from the wizard court and the Jonas brothers fell out of the sky and landed on me. Yes all three of them landed on me.  So naturally I pulled out my wand and turned them into pigs. After that I taught them how to use magic. One day I was eating supper and the three of them run towards me saying that there was two demons, that looked like the demons from the Buffy series, coming after them. So naturally the four of us make our way towards this play ground type place and hide in a tunnel thing thinking that we were safe because it is a known fact that demons can’t step over a tiny like not even 2 feet tall fence. There I was fighting off these two demons when out of nowhere my father comes flying in on the hovercraft thing that he was sent off on to finish off these demons. Which brings my dream to its end, I got my dad back and the Jonas brothers were sent back to their home. THE END!

This is the first time that i have ever blogged, so bare with me. first i little about myself. I will be 17 in the next month, and its a little scary, its not my age that scares me, its the idea of growing up, making my own decisions and finding/following a dream. i am sure that many people my age have these worries. My parents got divorsed when i was young, and let me tell you, it is not that bad. Mine was a clean break, i have two homes, two celebrations for special events and lots of other things. I am a grade 11er in highschool and i will be graduating next year. and again, i am scared,but at the same time i am excited to live my own life. I am a geek... i like batman, star wars, many fantasy movies and books, i like the things that distract me frommy reality, everyone needs an escape and this is mine. i think that i am a very opinionated person that knows what i want and i dont take crap, with this being said i do not confrentation.
           For the most part, i will be blogging twice a week i think,we will see, i think the way that i want to do this is i will blogg my dreams. Stay tuned because i have some pretty crazy and wierd.